Eight Alternatives to Saying Your Wedding Vows Out Loud 

So, you can’t WAIT for your wedding day to marry the love of your life, but there’s one nagging worry in the back of your mind- you want alternatives to saying your wedding vows out loud!

You’re absolutely not alone.

And here’s the best bit: you don’t have to say personal wedding vows out loud on the day if you don’t want to. Your wedding day is yours to design—and you can still make it deeply meaningful without saying your vows aloud. I always say to my couples- if there is any part of the ceremony that fills you with dread, let’s find a way to make you turn up on the day feeling fabulous about everything and stressing out over nothing.

Whether you’re introverted, camera-shy, or just want to keep those tender words sacred between the two of you, here are 8 heartfelt alternatives to writing and saying personal vows that still honour your love and commitment—with zero pressure to perform.

One

Exchange Private Letters Before the Ceremony

Write each other a letter with everything you want to say, and read them in private before or after the ceremony. You can share this moment quietly, with or without a photographer there to capture it.

Cue all the emotions, minus the public speaking.

Two

Whisper Your Vows During the Ceremony

Yes, it’s as romantic as it sounds.
Instead of speaking your vows into the mic, you can lean in and whisper them to each other while soft music plays or during a pause in the ceremony. It’s incredibly intimate, cinematic, and deeply personal.

It’s for couples who love the sentiment but not the spotlight.

Three

Let Your Celebrant Read Them for You

If you’ve written your vows but you want another alternative to saying wedding vows out loud, let me do it for you. I can read them with warmth and heart while you hold hands, exchange glances, and soak it all in.

Still meaningful, still powerful—without a microphone in sight.

Four

Invite Your Guests Into a Group Vow

Want to shift the spotlight away from you while still creating a heartfelt, collective moment? I can lead a group vow, where your guests are invited to promise their love, support and encouragement for your marriage.

Think: a moment where your whole crew—family, chosen fam, and friends—vow to show up for you in this next chapter. It’s often emotional, always memorable, and beautifully symbolic.

It’s not just your love story—it’s the community that carries you.

Five

Choose a Symbolic Vow Ritual Instead

Rather express your promises without speaking? Consider a ritual that represents your commitment, such as:

• Candle lighting

• Handfasting

• Planting a tree

• A sand ceremony

• Having a shot of your favourite drink together

These visual acts speak volumes—without you having to say a word.

Six

Record a Vow Video

Not loving a public vow moment, but want to preserve your words forever? Record a video before the big day where you speak from the heart.

You can watch it together later—maybe post-ceremony, over wine and leftover cake—or even play it privately during your first look.

Seven

Write Your Vows in a Keepsake Book

If you’d rather write it and let it live somewhere meaningful, pen your vows in a vow book, journal or even your guest book. It’s a keepsake you’ll treasure forever—and no one needs to hear a word unless you want them to.

Eight

Turn Your Vows Into a Song or Voice Memo

Want something extra creative? Record your vows as a voice memo or work with a musician to turn them into a custom love song. You can play it during the ceremony, your first dance, or even at the reception for a big surprise moment.

The TLDR- FAQs

Question: Do we have to say personal vows during our wedding ceremony?

Answer: No — personal vows are completely optional. You only need to say the legal vows required under Australian law. If speaking personal vows feels too overwhelming, there are plenty of meaningful alternatives.

Question: What are some non-verbal ways to express our vows?

Answer: You could exchange letters, have your celebrant read your words for you, or share a private moment before the ceremony. Some couples even use symbolic gestures like a hand-fasting or unity ritual in place of spoken vows.

Question: Can we write our vows but not read them aloud?

Answer: Yes. You can write your vows and choose to exchange them privately before or after the ceremony. Some couples also opt to include them in a keepsake vow book or have them read by the celebrant on their behalf.

Question: What is a group vow and how does it work?

Answer: A group vow invites your guests to participate by making a collective promise to support your marriage. Your celebrant will guide everyone through a few heartfelt lines, turning your community into an active part of your ceremony. It’s a beautiful, inclusive moment — especially when personal vows aren’t your thing. Read more about that HERE.

And as your celebrant (and unofficial wedding fairy godmother), I’ll help guide you through all the options to create something beautifully you—whether that’s quiet, quirky, creative or crowd-inclusive.

💌 Want to explore vow alternatives that actually feel good?

Let’s find you some alternatives to saying wedding vows out loud that you will feel comfortable with. Without the nerves, the pressure, or the panic sweat.

👉 CLICK HERE to get in touch and let’s make vow magic your way.

If you are still looking for an all inclusive wedding venue with accommodation, check out AURORA HOUSE